About Me

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cypress, ca, United States
Hi my name is Jennifer I am ShawnnBears mom. ShawnBear was born with HLHS.We chose the 3 stage surgery. Shawn had his Norwood open heart surgery on January 3rd 2008 and came home on the 19th . He was doing well until about three months old when they decided to do the Glenn early at 3months because of low oxagen sats. When Shawn came back for surgery he was ok for about 3 hours then he came very close to leaving us. He was rushed back to the O.R. and came back in stable condition. Despite that stepback we were sent home about a week later. Shawn was sent home on oxagen because his sats were still in the low 70's. cardio doc said that we should concider another open heart sugery to repair this. Shawn had his reconstuction of the tricuspid valve at CHLA by Dr Vaugh Starnes.December 2009 shawnBear had a pacemaker placed due to low heart rate while sleeping. Shawn has been long but he smiled all the way through. By looking at my amazing boy you would not know that he was born with only half a heart and had 4 open heart surgerys . I have learned a lot from Shawn but the most important thing is not to take life for granted. Enjoy every moment

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Beach Today??

Well woke up really late this afternoon and I am kinda in a funk my back hurts. We talked about going to the beach last night but not sure that were going yet. HOpefully getting out of the house is always good. When I get out I seem to be ok sometimes. Anyhow I read some of my non profit book last nite and it has lots of good information . I need to get ahold of some people at CHOC next to find out about donations and see what I need to do . Hopefully they will let me be a part of handing them out to children
I really think this is a great idea and I really am excited to help other familys in the hospital. Well short post today but I will update again soon .

Thursday, July 7, 2011

ShawnBears Heart

I have decided to give back to children inthe Hospital and Familys that go through this. My son was an inspriration to me and I want to be a part of helping others. If it had not been for CHOC and all the great things they did for my son and our family. Things could of been a lot worse . A friend from my grieving group responded when I asked How I could keep Shawn Bears memory alive in giving back. Her response was perfect she said you should do a Teddy Bear DRive and when you have all the Bears have a special ribbon put on them that Says "ShawnBear" A friend for life . That is perfect but I also want to help in other ways to. I have picked the name now I have to figure out how to start up all this filing for the name to be permanant and doing what paperwork you need for a nonprofit bizness. I have a focus and something to keeep me a little bizy hopefully a lot bizy in the future. I love you ShawnBear forever and always . xoxoxo Mommy

One Day at a Time

Well the Holiday is over and I am sure still not sure how I will ever get to enjoy another Holiday without my baby boy here . I miss him so much. It seems just unbearable at times . I do things to try and keep me bizy. Before ShawnBear passed I was a bizy mom going to school working and enjoying life. Now I sit at home and do just about nothing. I have taken some steps to hopefully help in my grief journey to start functioning again the best I know how . I have gotten a new job at WalMart I will starting orientation on Tuesday next week and hopefully start training soon after that and then off to working full time. Im hoping that this helps me to get out of the house and start socializing again even if its just a little bit . I keep telling myself small steps but they feeel like huge giant steps. I have a long journey ahead of me and I dont know whatt the future holds but I am trying. I went to the cemetary today with my oldest son Daniel and we cleaned up the holiday decorations, mowed the grass and Shined up his beautiful stone. I miss him so much. I also worked on my quilt tonite that I am making out of his clothes in memory of him. I do all I can to keep his memory alive.Doing things like this also helps me cope.  I know I keep him in my heart but I want others to know and remember him also. Its only been 5 months and I feel like people (some family and friends) are already forgetting about my precious baby.  I never want him to be forgotton by anyone. I wonder if in the years to come if anyone will even talk about him or the things they remember about him . I always willl and my husband also. I just want his memory to live on and on . xoxox Jennifer